Dear Awhina,
I write this letter with a heavy heart, the kind that makes your chest tight and your breath shallow. I have debated long and hard about sending this, but I cannot keep these thoughts bottled up any longer. The truth is a burdensome weight, and I believe you deserve to know.
From the moment I met you, I was drawn to your vibrancy, your strength, and your unwavering determination. You illuminated every dark corner of my life, and I thought I could lean on you forever. However, I’ve come to realize something that is both painful and liberating—I am deeply in love with you, yet I have been living a lie.
There’s something crucial I haven’t disclosed to you, something that could change everything between us. Awhina, before my life intertwined with yours, I was involved in a world that was dark and dangerous. I was part of a group that engaged in illicit activities—smuggling, theft, those detestable things that we judge others for so harshly. I thought I could leave that life behind when I met you, that you could pull me into the light. But I was naïve; the shadows I ran from found me again.
A few weeks ago, I was approached by someone from my past, someone who knows where I’ve been and what I’ve done. They made it clear that nothing is ever truly gone. Both the people I once called friends and the debts I owe have resurfaced, and they are demanding my return to the life I swore I left behind. They know about you; they see you as my weakness, and they’ve made it abundantly clear that if I don’t comply, they will make you suffer the consequences.
I know how that sounds. I can barely believe it myself. I’ve spent countless sleepless nights trying to protect you without even realizing I was endangering you. But the truth is, Awhina, I can’t keep pretending anymore. I can’t drag you into this darkness with me. You are a beacon of light—a force of nature, unyielding and beautiful—and you deserve to be free from the weight of my mistakes.
To protect you, I must step away. I have made arrangements to ensure that you’ll be safe. You won’t hear from me after this letter, and that is for the best. I can already hear your protests, your desperate questions, but the choice has already been made. Staying with you would put you in danger, and I cannot bear that burden.
Please, live your life fully, embrace every opportunity that comes your way, and remember me not as the broken man I’ve revealed myself to be, but as the person who adored you fiercely. I hope one day you can forgive me for this betrayal and understand that my love for you was genuine, even if my past wasn’t.
Take care of yourself, Awhina. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
With all my love,
Adrian
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