In more serious news, Kimmel recapped the apparent second assassination attempt on Donald Trump by a man who “appears to be a troubled individual. His political views are all over the place”, he said, noting that he tweeted earlier this year that his dream ticket would be Nikki Haley and Vivek Ramaswamy, “which is how you know he’s nuts”.

“But Trump, of course, is blaming Kamala Harris and President Biden for this,” said Kimmel. According to Trump, “their rhetoric is causing me to be shot at, when I am the one who is going to save the country, and they are the ones that are destroying the country … They use highly inflammatory language. I can use it too, far better than they can, but I don’t.”

“Right, you are nothing if not a calming influence,” Kimmel deadpanned. “This is a man who for the last week has been spreading a complete lie that he knows is a lie, saying Haitian immigrants are eating pets in Springfield, Ohio. This is a man who just last week joked about Nancy Pelosi’s 84-year-old husband being brutally attacked with a hammer by one of his deranged fans. This is a man who literally hours before this happened posted on Truth Social the words I Hate Taylor Swift.”

Kimmel tried to visualize the thought process behind Trump publicly expressing hatred toward arguably the biggest pop star in the world, who endorsed Harris minutes after their presidential debate last week. “It’s Sunday morning, 7.40am. Trump just wolfed down a plate of ketchup and eggs with nine strips of limp steamer-trade that no one can afford to eat anymore because of Biden,” Kimmel imagined.

“He’s got three TVs on, he’s looking at his phone, Melania is somewhere, he has no idea, but he hasn’t seen her for weeks. So he’s scrolling through Newsmax on Twitter, and he sees a story about how many people registered to vote after Taylor endorsed Kamala Harris.”

“The most popular singer of the century is telling her fans not to vote for him, and he can’t take it anymore,” he added. “He’s had enough. He thinks ‘I hate Taylor Swift’ and he whips out his little thumbs and he types ‘I hate Taylor Swift’.”

Kimmel went on and on, up until Trump “waddled out to the first hole” of golf in defeat.